Last night some bastard stole our two lambs. Why would you do that? The offender came in to get the quadbike but not being able to get it started (after pushing it into the paddock further from the house and cutting through two previously useful fences on the way) they obviously decided to run off with our orphaned lambs instead. I imagine the innocent lambs would have just excitedly followed the [ugly, smelly, stupid] intruder off the property - but they would have had to lift the little guys from the pen first. They’re only a few days old. THEY NEED FEEDING! LOOK AFTER THEM!! 
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